Chapter 3

Eventually I couldn't hold it anymore. After class one night I found Callum at his desk, still correcting Vivienne's practice problems. He looked up when he saw it was me.

We walked home together. I told him everything — every piece of hurt I'd been holding. I asked him why he'd turned on me like that.

When I got to the part about the fake date and the umbrella, he frowned.

"I don't understand why you have this thing against her. She's not like what you're saying. She doesn't think like that."

"Since I've known Vivienne, I've realized how jealous you actually are. She's been nothing but good to you. You're tearing her apart because she's prettier than you?"

"Do you know how high her fever was? After you left, she was still worried she'd said something too harsh."

I hadn't expected this. After everything we'd been through, he didn't trust me at all.

"Hazel, in all the years I've known you, this is the first time you've made me feel sick. Is this what happens when someone ordinary can't handle seeing someone better than herself?"

I couldn't believe those words came from him.

He seemed to realize he'd gone too far. He reached for my sleeve.

"Hazel — that's not what I meant."

I had no patience left. I ran back to my room and cried all night with the door locked.

I stopped talking to him after that. I buried myself in studying. I just wanted to get out.

When we'd first arrived at the academy, I'd told Callum we'd go to the same advanced institute together. Now I only wanted to end up as far from him as possible.

For the entire final term, I said nothing to Callum. Not a word.

When the enrollment season ended, Callum came to find me.

He showed up at my door with a bundle of white wildflowers.

"I said too much, Hazel. Can you forgive me?"

"I don't want to lose you. I'm asking you not to leave."

He promised he'd never let anyone come before me again.

I forgave him. We agreed to apply for the same advanced institutes.

When we filled in our applications, we were together. We picked institutes in the capital. He aimed for the top. I applied to an arts program.

I thought maybe this was how it would stay.

But I had made a mistake. I forgot to log out of my account on Callum's computer.

When the acceptance results came out, every one of my applications had been rejected. I looked closer. My original selections had been changed — my safety options replaced with high-ranking institutes my scores couldn't reach. I'd been shut out of everything.

Only one person had both the motive and the access. Vivienne had filled in her own applications at Callum's place. She could have reached his computer.

I found her with Callum right there. I slapped her across the face in front of him.

Callum grabbed my arm and asked me if I'd lost my mind, if I was blaming Vivienne because I hadn't gotten in anywhere.

He had forgotten that I'd filled in my applications right next to him. He forgot to ask what reason I could possibly have for destroying my own future.

I screamed at Vivienne. Callum called me unstable.

He took her and left. He left me alone in the room, falling apart.

In one day, I lost my future and the person I had loved. Both gone.

I found out later that Vivienne confessed to Callum that same day.

The next morning I received a voice note from Vivienne.

In it she was crying.

"Callum, I really didn't do this. Do you believe me?"

Callum answered immediately. "I know."

Then came the sounds of Vivienne crying through her confession.

Callum didn't refuse her.

He had promised he'd believe me without question. He had promised no one would ever come before me again.

But at the moment that mattered most, he let go of my hand.

That voice note was the last piece. I dropped my phone. I screamed. I couldn't breathe.

It took many days before I decided to keep going.

Whatever anyone did to me, I was going to live my life.

I wanted to reapply. Start over from the beginning.

I never considered giving up on myself.

But then my mother got hurt.

After my rejections, my parents stopped smiling. My mother spent her days running from office to office, trying to find someone to acknowledge what had happened to my applications.

One day, coming home from another dead end, she was hit by a car that didn't stop.

When I reached the Pack Infirmary, she was already unconscious. The healer said the chances of her waking were very small.

I cried for days. Through all of it, Callum never came. Not once. He had been raised by my parents the same as I had.

In the worst of it, I cut my wrists. I thought that would end a life that had already been broken too many times.