Chapter 8
Chapter 8
He dropped to his knees, panicked.
He tried to wipe my tears. They kept coming.
"I'm sorry."
His voice was shaking.
He was crying too.
"I'm sorry. Ivy. I'm sorry."
"Please give me another chance."
"This life. I won't let you down again."
I looked at him kneeling in front of me.
I said it clearly, one word at a time.
"I hate you."
Dorian smiled through tears.
"Then hate me. Don't ever forget me."
He leaned close.
Forehead against mine.
Tears mixing together.
"If I can't have your love. Your hate is enough."
His hand went into my hair.
He held the back of my head.
Made me look into his crying eyes.
"This life. You'll be tied to me until you die."
It wasn't him crying, I realized.
The tears were the young Dorian's.
I saw two expressions fighting across Dorian's face.
One was the ghost — frantic, desperate, past reason.
One was the young man — lost and in pain.
Two souls. No agreement between them.
Tearing at the same body.
"Get out — get out of here—"
"Pathetic. You had her right there. You're letting go?"
"She said she hates you. She doesn't want this."
"So what? I don't care. I'll take what I want—"
Dorian's hands dropped from me.
He grabbed his own throat.
While they were fighting.
I ran.
The night covered me.
I rode through the long streets on horseback.
The bonding gown was too long. The hem tangled in the stirrups.
I grabbed it and pulled. It didn't come free.
I just ripped it.
"All clear at the gate — keep moving—"
The night patrol was making his rounds, lamp swinging low.
Coming out of the side alley.
All those clock chimes I used to count through my tears.
I was leaving them behind.
This time I didn't have to wait for morning.
I was going to ride to meet the sun myself.
Forward. Forward.
"Get out of me! We're not the same! I will not become you!"
Dorian was still fighting.
Gasping, he drove a blade into his own chest.
Blood came out.
The ghost stopped fighting.
The young body slid down to the ground.
Then it was quiet.
In that last moment.
Dorian thought of Ivy from the past life.
She never cried. Never smiled.
Just lived out her whole life inside those four walls and never came back out.
She wasn't supposed to live like that, he thought.
"Ivy. Nobody's stopping you this time."
"Go. Don't look back."
Dorian's eyes stayed wide open.
He looked at the open door.
The wind came through.
The bonding candles blew out.
And the ghost was howling.
He had fought so hard.
Taken this body, put on the bonding dress, lit the candles.
And she still didn't drink.
The younger self had finally learned to let go.
The one who came back couldn't.
In the long night, the ghost's voice was a broken thing.
He wasn't sure who he was talking to.
"You fell in love with her."
"Dorian. You're dying with unfinished business."
This time, Dorian didn't answer.
Love and hate all knotted up.
No clean end to any of it.
The cold wind moved through.
Deepest dark before the dawn.
The night dew soaked through my gown.
My mind went clear.
The Pemberton house, the Calloway Manor, the Capital — all of it falling away behind me.
In the pale light ahead.
The silhouette of the Territory Gate came into view.
Tall. Silent.
I didn't hesitate. I rode straight through.
The moment my horse cleared the gate.
Something behind me snapped.
Maybe fate's hold.
I looked up at the sky.
Out in the open land.
The moon was just a small star.
Not the crying eye hanging over a walled manor anymore.
Ivy.
The world was this big all along.
At the Old Stone Waypost.
One rider waited.
Steel armor. Long spear resting at an angle.
"You write a convincing forgery."
Vivienne looked me over.
Windblown, eyes wide awake.
She raised an eyebrow.
"I almost went back for you."
"No need."
I lifted my chin.
"A small problem. Nothing more."
She didn't ask questions. She tossed me a water flask.
"Drink."
The water was cold. It went down smooth.
My heartbeat slowed.
I noticed.
It was light out.
Morning had broken through the night.
Vivienne climbed back on her horse.
She looked back at me.
"Ready?"
"Ready." I smiled.
"Let's move."
The past wasn't worth another thought.
The open land was ahead.
Morning light, just beginning.