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When I came back, the ward was very still.

The monitors beeped steadily beside me.

I moved my fingers and found my right hand held tight by both of his.

Lucas was kneeling on the floor beside the bed, eyes swollen red. He was still in the wet clothes from before. He looked as though he hadn't moved since they let him in.

When he saw me open my eyes, his broke completely.

"Sylvia. Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?"

His voice was so wrecked I almost didn't recognise it.

I looked at him for a moment. Then I pulled my hand back.

"The baby's gone. Yes?"

He went very still.

"Yes." His voice fell apart on the word. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were pregnant. If I'd known, I would never — I would rather have died than —"

He raised his hand and hit himself across the face. Hard. The sound carried.

"I'm the one who deserves this. Hit me. Scream at me. Whatever you need."

I watched him hit himself again.

I felt nothing.

"The prenatal scan was on the coffee table for a whole week," I said. "You didn't notice it when you came home?"

He froze. The tears were running freely now, and he didn't seem to know it.

"I — I was only thinking about Hugo. I wasn't —"

"So you could drown me in a bathtub, but you couldn't notice a single piece of paper sitting in front of you for seven days."

I turned my head and met his eyes.

"You weren't distracted, Lucas. You just didn't think my life was worth paying attention to."