Chapter 4

In the photo, a man sat loose and easy on a leather couch. Head tilted down, looking like he was giving an order.

Madeline's next message was furious. "What is this? An announcement? Does she not know Sebastian's your boyfriend AND your fiancé? And he's letting her post this? Has he completely lost his grip?"

The water boiled. I dropped the pasta in.

I wrote back, quiet. "He's not my boyfriend anymore. And I'm not going to marry him."

After I confessed in college, Sebastian had arranged for our families to meet. They'd announced the engagement. We were just waiting until we finished university to make it official.

Madeline's side went silent for three seconds. Then my phone lit up like a firework.

"HOLY SHIT. You finally saw the light!"

"But… what about your family? The engagement? Won't that be a whole thing?"

Warmth flooded my chest.

I cleared my throat. "It won't be."

My parents had always thought I was too diminished in front of Sebastian. I'd had to beg and plead for them to agree to the engagement in the first place.

I carved a smiley face into a carrot. Then stood at the counter and ate the whole bowl of pasta.

Outside, lightning split the sky. Wind whipped the white curtains.

A chill ran through me.

My phone rang.

Sebastian. Apologetic, gentle. "Sophia. Something came up with a friend. I'm not coming home tonight."

"If you can't sleep, there are sleeping pills in the cabinet."

Lightning flashed, turning the room white. It caught my pale face.

I have insomnia. I'm terrified of thunder.

When I was little, my grandmother in the country used to sit up with me. Then, for eleven years, it had been Sebastian. When he'd first found out, he'd scoffed. "How are you this much of a baby?" Then he'd held his arms open. "Something's missing from mine. Come here."

Eleven years. Without fail.

Until tonight.

I didn't write back. I didn't know how. Pretend I didn't know? Scream and demand answers? Neither felt dignified. Neither mattered anymore.

I called my parents.

Mom was worried. "Break it off? Did you and Sebastian have a fight?"

I mumbled something vague. "It's nothing. I just don't think we're right for each other."

She sighed. "Good, then. Sebastian was always a wild one, sweetheart. Clean break, clean start."

"Don't worry about anything. I'll have your father handle the Blackwoods."

I swallowed the catch in my throat. "Mom. Please don't tell the Blackwoods yet."

"Okay, honey. Your call. Sweetheart—if you're not happy, come home. I'm right here."

I hung up fast. My eyes stung. But I couldn't cry anymore.

I curled up and fell into a heavy sleep.

Six more days.

Six days, and the photos would be gone.

After that, Sebastian and I would go our own ways. I'd never see him again.

I woke with tear tracks still on my face.

The apartment was a mess.

I drank a glass of water and called a cleaning service. The woman came fast.

She looked around, shocked. "Miss. Are you sure none of this needs to be kept?"

I nodded. Polite. "Thank you. Sorry for the trouble."

She didn't ask again. Just got to work.

I stood on the balcony. I could reach out and touch the new spring buds on the branches.

Below me, dawn light spilled across the Hudson.

In high school, the workload had been brutal. Sebastian and I had both boarded at school. I used to complain, "When we get to college, I want an apartment by the river. Trees outside, sunlight inside."

Sebastian had leaned against the railing, listening. The hem of his school jacket whipping in the wind. A white flash in my field of vision.

Sebastian hadn't argued. Just stared out into the distance. Made a small sound of agreement.

I hadn't even expected him to remember.

But freshman year, he handed me a key. An apartment. The exact one I'd described.

My eyes stung again.

I sniffed and turned back into the apartment.

The cleaning woman came out of the storage closet, sounding regretful. "What about all this? The dog bed, the food, the sweaters? Oh, and there's a sealed box of allergy medication in here too."

I paused.

A month ago, I'd said I wanted a dog.

Sebastian had squished my face, lowered his voice. "Absolutely not. I'm allergic to dog fur. You want me to survive, don't you?"

So I'd dropped it.

But seeing this now, there was just bitterness. Endless bitterness.

A month. That's all it took to change someone.

I shook my head. "Throw it all out."

I didn't want any of it.

Thirty minutes later, the apartment looked like it had reset. Just without our photos together.

I'd packed a single bag. It hung light off my shoulder.

Before leaving, I took one last look around.

Sebastian and I, curled up on the couch watching something stupid. Cooking in that kitchen. Breaking the shower head in the bathroom, that one time.

…

So many memories. Too many. I couldn't carry them.

So… let them stay here.

I reached for the door handle.

The door was yanked open from the outside.

I stumbled back a few steps.

Sebastian stood in the doorway. His face was dark, cold radiating off him.

"Did you tell my mother about Chloe?"