Chapter 4

A ragged chorus of laughter exploded from behind the lounge chairs and from outside the pool deck.

Half my classmates, in their own swimsuits, poured in, faces lit with malice and glee.

Leading the pack was Madison. "Sebastian, you are a legend. What a way to teach her a lesson."

I looked at Sebastian. He turned his face away. He wouldn't look at me.

Madison was already in front of me, dripping mockery.

"Oh my God, you accepted your big brother Sebastian's confession in this? This slutty little swimsuit?"

Behind her stood the same girls who had pushed me into the outfit. They caught my eye and shrank back into the crowd, pretending not to know me.

Madison's hand shot out and yanked the cup of my top. Fabric slid. Air hit skin. I snatched it back immediately.

Madison pointed at me, howling.

"HA HA, no wonder they look so big. She padded them. Fake, totally fake."

"I didn't—!" The words came out before I could stop them.

The room laughed harder. Someone asked Madison if she was serious.

She grinned back. "I saw it myself. Think I'd lie? Go ahead, check for yourselves."

Several of the boys started edging closer. Only the public setting kept them from doing more than running their eyes up and down my body.

I looked at Sebastian, the color gone from my face, my voice a whisper.

"What is this? What are they talking about?"

Sebastian looked away. "Ava, you're just so out of touch. You never fit in with the rest of us. Madison came up with this idea to help you loosen up."

My chest caved. My eyes burned. "And this? This is what you thought would help me loosen up?"

Before Sebastian could answer, Madison cut in. "Don't start with the waterworks. Don't pretend it's all on Sebastian just because he spoils you."

"This was my idea. We were playing Truth or Dare. I dared Sebastian to fake a confession to you. Who knew you'd actually buy it? And in that slutty swimsuit? That's something a forty-year-old housewife would wear."

She was already close. Now she leaned in closer, looking me up and down, and dropped her voice to a razor.

"Sebastian wasn't even going to make up with you. I talked him into teaching you a real lesson. He bet the guys that all he had to do was crook his finger and you'd come crawling back. And look at that. Just like a dog."

The words hit like a sledgehammer. My vision tilted.

I shoved her. Hard.

"Ava!"

A roar came from somewhere behind me. A hand caught my head and drove it down. I stumbled sideways and fell into the pool, and before I could kick up, someone forced me under.

Panic. No air. For one second I actually forgot I knew how to swim. Death was right there, pressing down on my chest.

I thrashed. It didn't matter. And then, just when I was sure this was how I would die, a voice cut through the water from the edge of the pool.

"Hey! You kids over there! What the hell is going on?"

The hand vanished. A few of them rushed over to smooth-talk the lifeguard. "We're all classmates, we're just messing around..."

I broke the surface, coughing, retching.

Sebastian crouched at the edge. His voice was ice.

"Drop the act. You know how to swim. And I made the call. Who are you to put your hands on Madison?"

"It was a joke. Can't you take a joke?"

His words went through me like a blade. The boy standing over me was not the boy I had grown up with.

I looked up at him, wrecked, and I thought: Sebastian. You threw me away first. So I'm throwing you away now.

The lifeguard wasn't buying the classmates' story. He was an adult. He had seen enough of the world to know a joke from a crime.

He ordered everyone away from me, hauled me out of the water, wrapped me in a towel, and had the female lifeguard walk me to the locker room.

The woman's body heat soaked through the towel. She asked me gently, "Sweetheart. Do you want me to call the police? Don't be scared. You can stand up to this."

The kindness in her voice was what broke me. I started crying into her shoulder.

"He's my friend. He's practically my brother. How could he do this to me?"

Her arms tightened around me. Her voice went soft and steady above my head.

"He's not your friend. He's not your brother. Your friends and your brothers don't stand there while strangers hurt you. Trash belongs in the trash."

Yes.

Trash belonged in the trash.

I made a silent promise to myself.

Sebastian. We will never, ever make up again.

And maybe something out there was listening.

The way out came faster than I expected.

My father was being transferred to the London office long-term. My mother had just been accepted into a PhD program at Cambridge and was planning to spend several years in England.

They were worried I'd have a hard time adjusting. They planned to leave me in the States, to stay with the Harringtons.

I shut that down on the spot.

My parents stared at me. Then something hopeful lit up behind their eyes.

My mother, who knew me best, asked the question anyway.

"But you love Sebastian so much. Are you sure? It might be a long time before we come back."

I pushed down the sting in my throat, tilted my face up, and gave her the sunniest smile I could.

"It's fine, Mom. Wherever you two go, I'm going. I'll never regret it."

Not ever.