Chapter 10

Cain tried to pick up his pace. He wanted to do what they were doing, run in the open like a normal person.

But the unfamiliar land around him kept him careful. He couldn't let go the way they could.

He said to me: "You run, Ember. I'll get it on camera."

"It's fine. Let's just walk slowly together."

There were bales of hay along the path. Cattle and sheep wandered past. If you stood still long enough, there was something peaceful in that too.

But Cain said nothing. The corner of his mouth bent into something that looked like self-reproach.

Three days into the trip, he looked visibly thinner and hollowed out.

If the trip was fuel for me, it was punishment for him.

Something had to break eventually.

That afternoon, I went horseback riding.

Cain stayed back and held up his camera to take photos.

The horse stretched into a run, picking up speed from a walk to a canter.

Cain kept pressing the shutter, one after another.

The speed took me over. I closed my eyes.

Then a sharp cry cut through everything.

I snapped back to myself.

It was Cain's voice.

Cain had an episode.

The cause was a couple nearby.

They'd gotten into a fight, and neither of them was holding back.

The man said he'd give her a beating when they got home.

The woman told him if he dared walk away, she'd take a knife to him.

Couples fight and say things they don't mean. It happens.

People around them stepped away, giving them space.

Cain turned around slowly and stared.

The louder they got, the slower his breathing became.

Probably he'd been running on high alert for days. Or something in their words had dragged up something old.

When the man shoved the woman to the ground, Cain moved. He stepped between them.

Then the episode took hold.

I stayed beside him and talked him down, over and over, for what felt like a long time.

The sun was setting by the time he finally came back to himself.

"Ember. I'm sorry. I worried you."

He was sitting on the grass, arms around his knees, eyes low.

"Did being here with me turn out terrible?"

I shook my head quietly.

"But you're not happy."

"I saw your photos from the Western Frontier trip. You were so alive in them. Since you came back, you haven't looked that way."

"I finally got a photo of you that I was happy with — when you were on the horse. One photo, and then I crashed."

"Ember. I'm useless."

"I can't even make a trip relaxing for you."

He was telling the truth. There's no real argument against the truth.

We sat together on the grass and watched the sun drop toward the horizon.

He sat beside me, his voice rough and low: "Ember. I think I'm a pretty terrible person."

When it was fully dark, I stood up and dusted off my clothes. "Stop thinking like that."

"Our return flight was already scheduled for tomorrow. The trip's almost over."

Tomorrow back, the day after was my birthday, and the day after that I'd be leaving with the million Gerald promised.

Cain got up and walked with me. He was quiet on the way back, barely speaking, occasionally picking up his phone to arrange something.

Once we were home, he finally relaxed. His breathing evened out.

Before he went to bed, after a long pause, he said: "Good night, Ember."

"Tomorrow, I have a new birthday gift for you."

I assumed the gift was the piece he'd been writing. Or maybe something he'd picked up.

But the next morning, he appeared at my bedroom door in a full suit.

"Ember. Let's go to the Pack Elder Council."

"To file for Bond dissolution."

Cain was the kind of person who, once he'd decided something, didn't change it.

He'd said he wouldn't dissolve the Bond, and I'd accepted that it would take time and legal proceedings to get out.

But I hadn't expected him to change his mind on his own.

I asked: "Why?"

He said calmly: "You're not happy. I don't want to drag you down anymore."

He even managed a small smile, eyes curved slightly at the corners.

But the red rimming his eyes gave him away.

"Ember, I'm the kind of person who figures out he loves someone only after they've already walked out the door."

"I thought about trapping you here any way I could."

"But you're not happy being with me."

"Not at all."

His voice cracked. His eyes went red. "I've taken up enough of your time. I don't want you to hurt anymore."

"So I'm letting you go."

This was the first time I'd ever seen him cry.

I'd never thought someone like him would.

On the drive to the Pack Elder Council, his tears were warm and landed on my hand.

They didn't stop.

The car stopped outside the Council Hall. He wiped his face with the back of his hand.

He stood there with his eyes still red, and walked around the car to open my door.

He forced a smile.

"Ember. My birthday gift to you, for turning twenty-five, is your freedom."

Pack Law required a thirty-day separation period after filing for Bond dissolution.

During those thirty days, Gerald tried to change my mind.

He asked: "Cain's already realized how he feels about you. Are you really going through with this?"

"If you stayed, your life would be better than anything you'd find out there."

I shook my head. "No."

He didn't understand.

"Ember. Nothing happened between Cain and Serena. And Cain does have feelings for you now. His love just came late. You're going to walk away over that?"

"Can you give him one more chance?"

But I still shook my head. "No."

Once you've tasted freedom, you can't go back to a cage willingly.