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[Cain's perspective]

The first time I understood that I had feelings for Ember was at the Pack Compound.

She had been telling my grandfather she wanted to dissolve the Bond.

My first reaction was refusal.

When I realized I didn't want to dissolve it, I went still.

Because of my parents, I had hated and feared bonding my entire life.

I'd always told myself that Ember had used the Bond to trap me.

I'd been waiting for the day I could end it.

But when that day actually came, all I felt was resistance.

I lied to myself. I lied to her too. I said it was just habit.

I let Serena stay at the Manor on purpose.

I said her clothes were nicer on purpose.

I was trying to prove to myself that I didn't want Ember. That I didn't want this woman my grandfather had pushed on me.

Then Ember left.

When I heard, I was angry and panicked and guilty all at once.

I was angry she'd left without a word. I wanted to drag her back.

Then Serena showed up and told me to dissolve the Bond. She even undressed in front of me, trying to prove something.

I felt a surge of anger I couldn't explain.

I've always hated closeness. I never wanted it with anyone.

But in that moment, a thought moved through me without warning.

If it were Ember standing there instead, that might be different.

I couldn't lie to myself after that.

I had feelings for Ember.

I missed her. When I did, I pressed my face into the pile of stuffed toys she'd sewn.

When she came back, I was sharp with her, but inside I was relieved.

I still had a feeling, though. A quiet certainty.

She was doing a handover with Nora. Getting ready to push me toward her and walk away.

I was afraid of being left behind again.

So I tried to get closer. I talked to her. I wrote music for her. I told her about my parents.

But I could see that she wasn't happy around me.

She was flat and exhausted in a way she never was in her travel videos.

Everywhere I looked she was carrying weight.

I thought traveling together might bring some of that light back.

Then I realized the truth: it wasn't travel that made her alive.

It was leaving me.

Even when we traveled together, she was tired. She was always one step away from managing me.

That afternoon, sitting on the grass in the Northern Borderlands, I felt something I didn't expect.

Something like grief for her.

What terrible luck she had, finding me.

If she stayed near me much longer, would she forget how to smile entirely?

The gift I'd been planning to give her for her twenty-fifth birthday was the piece I'd been composing.

I'd poured everything into it, but there was always something missing.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to go.

I gave her a different gift instead.

Freedom.

And the check that had been hers to begin with.

After the dissolution, I locked myself in the study.

I played the piece over and over.

I revised it again and again. Nothing satisfied me.

One night, Ember appeared in a dream.

At fifteen, in the garden, smiling at me as she cleaned the cut on my arm. "Doesn't that hurt? You've been bleeding and you didn't even notice."

At twenty, looking at me softly. "Cain, let me take care of you."

At twenty-five, carefully holding out a pair of headphones. "Here. Your birthday gift. I had to reserve these months in advance."

I woke up with a wet pillow.

I finally knew what was missing from the piece.

I spent two days shut in the study working. Then I went to the studio to record it.

It was the best piece I had ever written.

It was called "Ember."

I gave her the copyright. It was always hers.

"Ember" did well. Very well.

We agreed to see each other once a year. The rest of the time, I only had her social media to go through.

I watched every video.

She went horseback riding. She went racing. She went snowboarding.

That still, careful woman — she had a wild soul underneath.

A beautiful flower that I'd nearly killed with too much shade.

Without me, she was blooming again.

Good, I thought.

Every year after that, I counted down to her birthday.

Because that was the only day I got to see her.

To see her thrive.