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Julian had thought that if he'd answered my call, he could have talked me into running. That if he'd been there, he could have saved me.

Now he looked at me, his voice quiet and raw:

"I saw everything. The security footage. All of it." His fingers trembled. The corners of his eyes had gone red. "I saw what she made you do. I saw what Serena did.

"I couldn't forgive myself. And I couldn't forgive anyone who hurt you."

He drew a breath.

"I was going to end it all. Pay my debts the only way I thought I could.

"But then you called."

A long silence.

I closed my eyes.

"Julian," I said softly, "put my ashes back."