Chapter 10

So when Sonia had returned the things, the house, the ring — she hadn't been sulking. She'd made up her mind long before any of it.

And he'd been so certain she'd never actually leave him. He'd used Ember to rile her, because it had always worked before. Every time, she got angry, then she came around, proud and flustered, and he'd "forgive her." That was their pattern.

What had he been doing?

Zachary stared down at his own hands, stunned.

He had told himself Sonia was lying about Brandon. He had told himself she was just jealous of Ember. He had chosen Ember in the car crash. He had chosen Ember when the shelf fell on Sonia. He had told a housekeeper not to let Sonia dirty his house. He had said if she died he wouldn't come to her funeral.

The more he thought about it, the less he could breathe.

His phone lit up. Message after message from friends:

"Zach, what the hell? Sonia just told everyone in front of us she's moving to New York to get married. Please tell me it's you."

"Bro, she can't actually be marrying someone else. Go. Apologize. Twenty years of you two. Don't lose this."

"Honestly, you've been horrible these last few months. Dragged her through the dirt in public. Enough with the ego. Men apologize, it's not a crime. If she marries this other guy, you'll never forgive yourself."

And the last one, from Ember. "Zach, when are you coming back? The power's out at the house, I'm scared."

The house whose power was out — was the penthouse he'd originally bought for Sonia. The one he'd given Ember because Ember had said she'd never lived anywhere that nice.

Sonia had probably given up on him the moment he handed those keys over.

And how many other nights with the power out had he spent sitting with Ember — because of some "debt" — while Sonia was alone, scared?

He couldn't think about it anymore. His hand shook as he turned the phone off. He pressed both palms to his eyes. The tears came anyway, slipping between his fingers. "Mom — she doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't want me —"

Evelyn sighed, stroking his hair. "If you know you were wrong, go get her back. And even if you can't, you owe her an apology."

Zachary booked the first flight to New York and was at the airport within the hour.

On the way there, Ember called. "Why are you flying to New York this late? Is someone coming with you? Is it Sonia?"

He almost asked her how she knew his whereabouts.

Then he remembered. She'd said once that she had no friends, no sense of security, she needed to be able to find him at any moment. So he'd installed a tracker on his own phone that fed to hers. On top of that, his credit card statements auto-forwarded to her.

The shame hit him in a wave.

"Not your business," he said coldly, and hung up.

He deleted the tracker. He called the bank and froze her cards. He rerouted his transaction notifications back to himself.

Then he opened his secondary account and pulled up Sonia's alternate handle.

The first time Ember had claimed she wasn't happy, he and Sonia had fought worse than they ever had. Sonia had blocked him. When they made up, he'd made himself a dozen alternate accounts so he'd always have a way to reach her when she was angry at him. Sonia had made one in return.

On hers, she'd added no one but him.

They'd agreed that if, one day, something came between them they couldn't fix in person, this account would be their final chance. Last-ditch apology. One shot.

Would she forgive him?

He didn't know. But he wrote her a long, long message — starting from their childhood, through every time he'd put Ember first, through every time he should have apologized and hadn't. He asked for her address. He wanted to talk face to face.

She didn't reply.

On impulse, he opened her profile feed.

She'd been keeping a private journal on that account. He started reading.

"September 7. He's awake. Thank God. I prayed for this."

That was the day she'd come home from walking five hundred miles of pilgrimage on bleeding feet.

"September 8. He told me a harbor girl saved him. Her family's struggling. I suggested we write them a large check. He looked annoyed. Maybe I said it wrong."

The day he'd been angry at her for being "too arrogant" to try to repay a life debt with money.

"September 14. Gregory wants him to finish repaying his debt before we marry. That's fine. As long as he's alive, I'd agree to anything."

"October 16. Ember said she'd never been in a house that nice. She didn't feel happy. He asked me to give her the house. Zach — I think you're changing."

Every entry after that was just another time he'd hurt her for Ember. The writing got shorter, calmer, emptier.

The most recent entry was from the morning after the shelf fell, in the Hamptons. After he'd carried Ember out.

"Zach. This time I really don't want you anymore."

His throat worked. A tear hit the screen.

His Sonia.

She didn't want him.