Chapter 3

He carried me back at a run.

I reached up and held his hand.

"Dorian. I know what it is to love someone."

"Years ago, outside the Calloway Pack House, you gave me a branch of blossoms and my heart wouldn't settle after that."

"You just didn't want me."

Something moved across his face with real force.

He held my hand back. He said my name — Ivy — for the first time in a long time.

"Ivy. I know. I'm with you. You're going to be fine."

That gamble paid off.

I had put my real feelings in front of him, and he released his anger toward me.

He started coming to my room often. No more twice a month.

When he was with me, he said my name like he couldn't stop. He was less careful. Sometimes almost reckless.

And I held him back, slowly.

When he left, I adjusted my position and lay still.

I had stopped wondering about love.

I only knew that as the Luna, I needed to produce an heir as soon as possible.

But the Moon Goddess didn't see it that way.

After I regained Dorian's favor, Serena made trouble many times.

In the beginning, Dorian would calm her down patiently. Later, he grew impatient. He visited her less. She slowly settled.

But every morning when she came to pay her respects, I could still see the hate in her eyes.

The year of my birthday, the celebration was something.

Dorian had gifts brought in from across the territory, called in every prominent Pack member's mate to come and pay their respects, and set off fireworks over the grounds for an entire night.

That evening he called for water five times and refused to let the candles go out. He said he wanted to see his own reflection in my eyes.

The next morning, one of the staff told me that Serena had stood outside my room through the entire night.

When I had her brought in, she had dark circles under her eyes.

And then, completely out of nowhere, she started reminiscing.

She said she had come to Wyndham Pack because she loved Dorian. That Dorian had promised her everything.

"You're from a powerful Pack, Ivy. In my home, every family was one man, one woman. There was no such thing as a Chosen Mate alongside a Bonded Mate."

"I'm someone who can't share. If I can't have everything, I'd rather have nothing."

"You've taken his attention from me. You're pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

She looked up at me. The hatred in her eyes was absolute.

"Believe me, I have a way to make him remember me for the rest of his life. And I have a way to make sure he never wants you again."

I didn't respond. I only thought that I would have to be more careful going forward.

But there was no going forward.

After she left my room that day, Serena went back to her quarters and hanged herself.

She was found dead before morning.

She left a note.

"Luna Ivy drove me to this. She left me no choice."

She died in the fourth year after entering the Pack. The year Dorian still loved her.

The dead become something fixed and perfect. The living can't compete.

Dorian came to find me. He had a weapon in his hand.

"I gave you everything," he said. "Everything. Why did you have to keep going after her?"

He didn't believe me. No amount of explanation helped.

Serena had found a brutal way to cut whatever thin thread still connected Dorian to me.

That day he almost killed me.

The staff held him back. He dropped the weapon eventually, and had me locked in my wing.

It was winter. There was no heating. My room was cold as a storage cellar.

I had pain in my lower body and wanted the Pack healer. Dorian wouldn't allow anyone in.

The pain went on for three days. Then the bedding was soaked red.

That was how I learned I had been pregnant. And that I wasn't anymore.

The grief of losing that pup was something I couldn't describe. It felt like every good thing inside me had been taken out and left in the cold.

Dorian and I became two people who couldn't stand the sight of each other.

He hated me for what he believed I did to Serena. I hated him for what he'd done to my child.

He talked about severing the Bond again and again. It never went anywhere.

I sat in my wing year after year, alone.

I had thought he'd be glad to be rid of me, the way I'd be glad to see him go.

But then an attack happened at a Pack gathering, and he stepped in front of an arrow meant for me.

Something moved in his eyes before he went still. His hand rose, then dropped slowly back to his side.

He said only, "That year, you saved my life. Now we're even."

"Ivy Calloway. I hope in the next life, we have nothing to do with each other."

The person I had loved and hated in equal measure for half my life died in front of me.

I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, the Wyndham grounds were blooming again. Spring had returned.

This time, I decided to do what he had asked. No more entanglement between us.

After the gathering ended, I was on my way back to the Calloway Pack when one of Dorian's attendants ran up and bowed quickly.

"Miss Calloway. My Alpha would like to see you."